Do You Understand?
by cloud-dancer28
Summary: Karkat and John are roommates. But what happens when they each have feelings for eachother. Will they get togther and if so what will happen? A JohnKat with all kinds of twist and turns. I HAVE LOST MY INSPIRATION FOR THIS! IT IS ON TEMPORARY HIATUS AND MIGHT GO UP FOR ADOPTION IF SOMEONE REALLY WANTS IT! SORRY GUYS!
1. Out The Door

~Karkat Vantas

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you love to yell. Your favorite color is candy red. Right now you are waking up. You live in a medium-sized two bedroom apartment. Your FUCKING ANNOYING roommate's name is John Egbert. You roll over and look at your clock. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT YOU OVERSLEPT AGAIN! It's now 8:05 which means you have exactly 30 minutes to get ready and to get to your job.

You jump out of bed and strip as quickly as you can (which doesn't take too long due to the fact you sleep only in boxers). You dash into the bathroom, and freeze. Standing naked in the middle of the bathroom is the one and only asshole, John Egbert.

"Ahhhh! MY EYES!" You scream.

"Hey, Karkat. Morning." John calmly replies.

"IT IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT A GOOD MORNING! WHY THE FUCK AREYOU JUST STANDING THERE NAKED!" you shriek.

"Karkat, one you are also naked, and two you should have knocked." John answers.

You look down to realize that you are, in fact, naked. You begin to internally flip out. You really try to keep it in, but...

"WELL, GET THE FUCK OUT I'M GOING TO BE LATE!"

"Okay, you don't need to flip your shit I'm leaving." John says still irritatingly calm about all this. He the proceeds, as said, to leave the bathroom.

Once he is gone you turn on the shower and get in. You then proceed to take a deep breath and try to fuckign calm down. As you shower you start to think. You are currently thinking about naked John. God, why does he have to be so cute. You have secretly had a crush on him for a while now. But you have never admitted that too him and never will, that would be stupid and brings the opportunity for him to reject you.

You finish up your shower and head to your room to get dressed. You get dressed and brush your hair. You are ready for work. What you do isn't really important it just pays the rent. You are part of Best Buys Geek Squad (you are not angeek though, you just like working with computers). You look once around your room. Almost everything is candy red, and it is all neat and tidy. You proceed to go grab breakfeast, you have 15 minutes. You run out to the kitchen to see John making breakfeast.

"Hey, Dickface! What are you making?" You say only moderately loud.

"Eggs for on the go. Here eat up!" He says while proceeding to push a plate of eggs with a fork toward you.

You run over to them and are about too start eatin them. Then you remembe who made them. John is always pulling pranks on you. The ER literally has a room for you because you end up there so much. You carefully start to insoect the eggs even though you really don't have time.

"I didn't do anything to them!" He says while rolling his eyes "your already late. I'm not that much of an ass."

You look at him skeptically, but are out of time and hungry. You start shoveling the eggs in your mouth. John sits across from you and starts eating his own eggs. You finish almost inhumanly fast. You get up, grab your stuff, and run out the door.

"Bye Karkat." You hear John say as you dash out the door.


	2. Love Confession

~John Egbert

You are now John Egbert. Your roommate just ran out the door. You now have 3 hours alone in the apartment. You head to your room and computer. You turn on your computer, this usually takes a few minutes so you sit back to wait. You look around your room. Almost everything is blue, it just so happens blue is your favorite color.

Your computer turns on and you immediately go to Pesterchum. You see your friend Dave is on and start to chat.

ectoBiologist (EB) has joined chat

turntechGodhead (TG) has joined chat

EB: Hi Dave! How's it going?

TG: 'Sup Egderp! Just chilling and being Ironic all up in here.

EB: Yeah, the cool kid just doing his thing, right?

TG: Fuck yes! I'm being so cool the arctic looks hot!

EB: Nice! Can we talk about something!

TG: Sure! What's on your brain?

EB: Well, so you know my roommate Karkat?

TG: Big mouth? Empty Brain? Yeah, I think I remember him.

EB: Haha. Well, I kinda have a crush on him, and I don't know how and if I should tell him. What should I do?

TG: Egderp's got his first crush! This is awesome, man. I mean it is Karkat, but still. They grow up so fast. *ironically tears up*

EB: Yeah, yeah. How about some advice cool kid?

TG: Just tell him. Just walk up and say 'hey big mouth you wanna go out?'.

EB: I wouldn't say it like that, but if I did what if he rejects me?!

TG: You need to take a chill pill. Your little brain is going to overheat.

EB: Dave...

TG: Seriously Bro just don't worry about it. If he rejects you I can kick his butt for you, amd if not than you'll be that much happier.

EB: Ok! Thanks Dave!

TG: Anytime. See you!

EB: Bye!

ectoBiologist (EB) has left chat

turntechGodhead (TG) has left chat

You don't know what you'd do without your best friend. You look at the clock, it has been an hour. You have two more to kill, so you start thinking about how you will tell Karkat. You go through many scenarios and immediatly discard every one of them. This is going to be impossible! The time passes by quicker than you thought and soon you here the door flying open and being slammed shut! You walk into the kitchen to see Karkat sitting at the table.

"Hey, Karkat!" You say shyly "How was work?"

"IT WAS FINE! JUST FUCKING PERFECT! NOT LIKE I'M THE JOKE OF EVERYTHING OR ANYTHING!" He screams.

"I don't think your a joke. I think your amazing." You say genuinely.

"Why would you think that?!" He says calming down.

"Well...because..."

"Just fucking spit it out dipshit!"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!"


	3. Lost

~ Karkat Vantas

You are now Karkat Vantas. You must have heard him incorrectly. That asshole John Egbert is just fucking messing with you. This can't be happening right now. Nothing good ever happens to you. You just need to act cool. Don't be rude, and don't be cocky.

"What the FUCK are you spouting about?!" Your voice strained as you try not to scream.

"Nothing! Just ignore me! I was just saying crap!" He says while blushing a deep red, and not meeting your eyes. You knew it! You fucking knew that wasn't real. Dammit Egbert, WHY?!

"WHAT THE FUCK EGBERT? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?" You scream while losing your control.

"I'M SORRY!" He screams and then runs out of the apartment!

You stand there shocked. John never screams, he never loses control. Why would he do that, you wonder? I mean he even said that he was just saying crap. Where is he even going, he can't drive.

You head into your room still pondering the situation. You make a beeline for your computer. You boot it up and open up Pesterchum. Your friend Sollux is online.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has joined chat

twimArmaggedons (TA) has joined chat

CG: HEY FUCKASS!

TA: 2up, what'2 goiing on?

CG: EGBERT SAID HE LIKED ME. THEN I ASKED WHAT HE MEANT BECAUSE I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM. THERE WAS SOME MORE STUFF SAID, AND THEN HE SCREAMED "I'M SORRY" THEN RAN OUT.

TA: What the fuck iis wrong wiith you, dumb 2hit?

CG: WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!

TA: Dude obviiou2ly liiked you and you just crushed hiim.

CG: HE SAID HE WAS JUST SAYING SHIT!

TA: Yeah that'2 becau2e he thought you were rejectiing hiim.

CG: THAT'S STUPID! WHY WOULD HE POSSIBLY THINK THAT?

TA: What wa2 your fir2t reactiion?

CG: I SAID "WHAT THE FUCK ARE SPOUTING ABOUT?"

TA: Consiideriing you were the one that saiid iit, iif ii had a2ked you ii would have thought iit was a rejectiion two.

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

TA: You're not a very 2oft, cariing per2on.

CG: FUCK THAT, EGBERT SHOULD BE SMARTER THAN THAT!

TA: Yeah, well, ii thiink when he get2 home you 2hould talk two hiim about that.

CG: YEAH, MAYBE OK! WHEN DUMBASS EGBERT GET'S HOME WE ARE GONNA FUCKING TALK ABOUT THIS! BYE CAPTOR!

TA: Hehe. Bye, Vantas!

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has left chat

twinArmaggedons (TA) has left chat

You decide to take a nap because you are tired. You are sure when you wake up John will be home. He's shy, he can't drive, and he's afraid of a lot. He is probably walking up the stairs now. You close your eyes and descend into blackness...

You wake up. You roll over and look at your crab clock. It has been 5 hours. You were tired. You get up to talk to John. You walk around the whole apartment and call his name. He's not here, but that's not like him. He almost never leaves, and if he does he is never out this long. You decide to chat his friend and see if he is at Dave's. You rush to your computer, and turn it on. You go quickly into Pesturchum and see Dave is, in fact, online.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has joined chat

turntechGodhead (TG) has joined chat

CG: HEY, STRIDER! IS JOHN AT YOUR HOUSE?

TG: No, why would he be?

CG: HE RAN OUT OVER 5 HOURS AGO AND HASN'T COME BACK!

TG: What do mean?

CG: I MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK HE IS, DUMB SHIT!

TG: Well, where could he have gone?

CG: I THOUGHT I IMPLIED I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

TG: Ok, cool your god damn shit Karkat! I will ask and look around, I'm sure I can find Egderp!

CG: OK FINE. TELL ME WHEN YOU FIND SOMETHING!

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has left chat

turntechGodhead (TG) has left chat

You log off and shut down your computer. You are worried, this never happens. This is totally unlike John. You decide to go ahead and make yourself dinner. If anyone can find John, Dave can. You hope is ok. Where is he?


	4. Gone With The Wind

-John Egbert

You are now John Egbert. You are embarrased and dejected. You made the worst mistake of life. You were so embarrased you ran out of the apartment. You are now currently as far as you could get in 5 hours on foot and by bus. You are sitting in a cafe in a hotel you are planning to stay at for the night, maybe longer. You have your credit card, laptop, and cell phone you'll be fine for a little while. You log onto your computer too see your 3 of your friends trying to chat with you. You immediatly open a group chat even though you really don't want to talk to anyone.

ectoBiologist (EB) has joined chat

turntechGodhead (TG) has joined chat

tentacleTherapist (TT) has joined chat

gardenGnostic (GG) has joined chat

TG: John! Where the fuck are you, Bro?

TT: John! What's going on? Talk to us!

GG: John, we are all here for you.

EB: Hey guys. I'm fine you don't need to worry.

TT: John, keeping feelings inside does not help anything. Tell us what's wrong.

TG: Bro, you screamed at Karkat and ran out. That's not like you

EB: I'm fine, honest. I just need some time alone to think.

TG: Karkats worried about you. Where alre you?

EB: Just at a hotel cafe. Karkat is worried about me?

TT: John this may be beyond your testosterone driven thoughts but Karkat likes you. Likes you likes you I mean.

EB: He rejected me.

GG: What did he say?

EB: Um, he said 'What the fuck are yoh spouting about'.

TG: Bro, that wasn't a rejection. I mean, it probably sounded like it was coming from Big Mouth, but believe us when we say he likes you.

EB: I don't know. I just need time too think. Rose, Dave, Jade thanks for trying, but I just need too think. I'll call you when I get back.

GG: Ok John. If that's what you need we will leave you alone.

TT: Yes John. Just know we're here for you if you need us, and we support you.

TG: Good luck, Bro.

EB: Thanks guys. Bye.

ectoBiologist (EB) has left chat

turntechGodhead (TG) has left chat

tentacleTherapist (TT) has left chat

gardenGnostic (GG) has left chat

You close you're laptop and lean back in your seat. Could what they said be true? Does Karkat like you? It's possible. They said he was worried about you. That was not your intention. You figure maybe you should go back. You decide to spend one more night here. Think about everything and try to figure this out. You get up and head up to your room.

You are in your room watching TV when your phone rings. You look at the number. Him again! What does he want!? You ignore the call. You won't worry about it. He hasn't bugged you for years. You go back to thinking about Karkat and watching TV.


	5. I'm Coming

~Karkat Vantas

You are now Karkat Vantas, and you are really worried. It has now been over 24 hours since your roommate, John Egbert, ran out of the apartment. You put your faith in Strider to find him, and you're starting to think that was a mistake. You keep refreshing Pesterchum hoping for something, anything. Then by some miracle it pops up...

turntechGodhead (TG) has joined chat

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has joined chat

TG: Hey Big Mouth, I found him.

CG: REALLY! HOW? WHERE?

TG: I Pesterchummed him, and triangulated a GPS signal off the chat log.

CG: GOOD FOR YOU! WHERE IS HE?

TG: In a Holiday Inn 97 miles from where you are. I

CG: I KNOW WHERE THAT IS!  
TG: I suggest you go get him.

CG: WHAT?! WHY?

TG: Explain that you weren't rejecting him, and bring him home. Then fucking get together because you both like each other.

CG: THAT'S STUPID, BUT FINE I'LL GO GET HIM.

TG: Great. Go.

turntechGodhead (TG) has left chat

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has left chat

You rush out the door, and start driving...

You pull up to the hotel. You rush in the door and find yourself in a small hotel cafe. You look around and just catch something out of the corner of your eye. It's a familiar looking back and blue ghost shirt. You rush after it, but you don't make it in time and the elevator doors shut.

You look around and realize that a girl, in a fuschia shirt with pisces sign on it, is staring at you. You stand up and calm your breathing.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" You ask.

"W)-(o were you glubbing c)-(asing?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?"

"My name is Feferi. Were you c)-(asing after the boy with black hair and big glasses?"

"YES. WHAT'S IT TOO YOU?"

"I know what room he's in. I've seen him. He is either in his room or the cafe. I'll take you too him." You blink in surpirse.

"THANK YOU!"

"You're glubbin' welcome. Come on." You follow her into the elevator, and watch her press the button for level 4. You stand in silence as the elevator begins to climb upward.

"You must reely care for him." Feferi says finally breaking the silence at level 3.

"YEAH I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT."

"That's sweet. Are you too gay?"

"YEAH. WHY?"

"Chill. I love, love." You both stand there as the elevator opens on the fourth floor. You follow Feferi out and to the left. You stop in front of room 413.

"This is the his room. Good luck!"

"THANKS!"

Feferi walks away. You take a deep breath, and...


	6. I'm Sorry

~John Egbert

You are now John Egbert. You just got settled back in your hotel room. You turn on the TV and start thinking about Karkat (again). You are really calm and then suddenly your door flies open, and right there in the doorway is Karkat. You jump out of bed and gape at him.

"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?" Karkat asks.

"W-why...w-what...w-w-what are you doing here?" You manage to get out.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING HERE? I CAME TO GET YOU."

"W-w-w-why w-w-w-would y-y-y-you d-do th-th-that?" You sputter.

"UM, BECAUSE I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU."

"B-b-b-b-but y-y-y-you..." You can't manage to finish the sentence.

"YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME. I WASN'T REJECTING YOU. I WAS JUST IN SHOCK BECAUSE I LIKE YOU AND HAVE FOR A WHILE, AND DIDN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVER ASK ME OUT. NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS TO ME, EVER." He explains. You don't know how to respond, so you just stand there gaping at him. You don't even think you could react if you tried. "HEY, EARTH TO EGBERT."

"I-I just don't know how to respond. I just...I mean...I...I...I..." You are frozen with shock. He liked you? All this time? You had just let your insecurities and doubts get the best of you. What do you say? How do you apologize?

Karkat seems to see the thoughts on your face. His face softens and he walks slowly up to you. You let him walk up to you wondering what he's going to do. He gets inches away from you, and then pulls you into a tight hug.

You tense up at first not expecting it and worried you'll react wrong. But he doesn't pull away, just grips you tighter. You relax into the hug, and hug him tightly back. You don't ever want the moment to end.

It doesn't seem like it will anytime soon, but after what feels like forever he sits on the bed. He still doesn't let go of you, and just pulls you down onto his lap on the bed to keep hugging you. You look up at him, with tears in your eyes, to find your face centimeters from his. He gently wipes the tears away, and then leans in and kisses you.

It starts off gently, but it starts to build. Soon you are both kissing with an intensity that would rival that of a rocket. You continue for several more minutes. Neither of you seem to be planning to stop anytime soon. Unfortunately, your phone rings.

You slowly get off of him and look at your phone on the table next to your bed. You just sigh and elect to ignore it. It's just him again. You lean back over Karkat and start to kiss again, but he pushes you back. The phone is still ringing.

"AREN'T YOU GOING TO ANSWER IT?" He asks.

"No, it's just someone I used to know. He bugs me sometimes, but he hasn't in a while. Just ignore it, it'll stop." You answer eager to kiss again.

"JOHN, WHO IS THIS GUY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BUG YOU? MAYBE YOU SHOULD ANSWER." He says.

"No, it's fine."You say "Trust me it'll be better if we ignore it."

"OK!" He finally says after a minute.

He gives you a weird look that says the topic will come up again. Honestly, you've ignored him this long you don't want to start all over. You are slightly afraid of him too. You and Karkat don't go back to kissing, but you lay down on the bed cuddling and watching crappy TV.

You really hope that he will just go away, but you know he won't. You just hope he doesn't show up. Not now, not when you just got Karkat. Not when your life finally got good. You sit wit Karkat and pray this moment won't end, but you know deep in your heart he's coming. It's not over and he will show up again. You hope you can just keep Karkat out of it at least.

**a/n: Hi! I decided I would try this. I just wanted to make sure there is no confusion or anything. The story is not over and yes soon you will know who ****_HE_**** is. I hope you guys are enjoying the story and continue too. Alright that pretty much it for now. I do love reveiws, thank you to those who send them to me. You guys rock! See you!**


	7. Terrified

**a/n: OMG! This took so much longer than I intended to, to post. My life just suddenly got really crazy and shit. With everyone (except my friends) around me being huge douchebags and me getting really depressed by it.\ I hope you like this chapter and I'm going to try and post the next chapter faster (no promises though). **

~Karkat Vantas

You are now Karkat. You are now currently lying on a hotel bed cuddling with John. You don't really know if you are dating, but that isn't important right now. The TV is on and you are somewhat interested in it. You are still pondering who could have been calling John. You've never seen him so tense and worried looking. He still refuses to tell you who it is, but you know you'll pry it out of him eventually.

You hold him closer glad you found him and straightened everything out. You lean in for another kiss. Almost immediately John starts kissing you back. You deep the kiss to find he had parted his lips. You slip your tongue in and he does the same. You are both exploring each other. After a few minutes of intense kissing you go back to cuddling and "watching TV". Then suddenly a question comes to mind.

"HEY! ARE WE JUST GONNA STAY HERE FOR A FEW DAYS, OR ARE WE GOING TO GO HOME?" You ask.

"Let's go home. I miss it."

"OK. DO YOU WANT TO GO NOW OR..."

"Yeah sure hold on let me just get my stuff together." You watch as he walks around the room bending down to pick up the few stuff he brought. Soon he has all his stuff together and you are walking out the door. You guys are soon driving home while holding hands. Once you get home you both climb into bed. It's been an interesting day. You close your eyes and descend...

"No! Please! Please! PLEASE STOP!"

You bolt upright awoken by the screaming. It takes you a minute to realize that it's John. You are suddenly very worried. You jump out of bed and race to John's room. Once you get there you fling open the door. The sight you are met with is very, very worrying. John is tossing and turning screaming in his sleep.

You run over to his bed and shake him trying to wake him up. You realize shaking him gently isn't working, so you shake him hard once. He shoots up in bed, and you barely dodge him when he does. He blinks seems to see you and starts shaking and crying. You sit on the bed next to him and pull him into his arms trying to calm him down. After a few minutes he slowly starts to calm down.

"ARE YOU OKAY?" You ask gingerly.

"Yeah, sorry for waking you up." He says bashfully into your chest.

"IT'S FINE. DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?"

"Not right now. Maybe another time, it involves some stuff I'm not ready to tell you yet."

"OKAY!" You maneuver both of you to a position were you are laying down but you still have your arms around him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'M SLEEPING HERE! IS THAT OKAY?"

"Of course "

You both close your eyes snuggling each other. You feel him cuddle even closer to you, and then he relaxed and went to sleep. You drift off soon after, hoping to keep John's nightmares away. Before you fall asleep you are thinking though. You have a feeling the nightmares are tied to the person who called at the hotel, but you're probably wrong. You'll ask Egderp about it later. You fall asleep holding John and feeling content.


	8. Nightmares

~John Egbert

You wake up to a happy feeling. After falling back to sleep in Karkat's arms, you didn't even dream. You roll over in his arms and look up at his face. The movement causes Karkat to stir. Slowly you see him open his eyes and smile down at you. You smile up at him. Then he suddenly he frowns and opens his mouth.

"I don't want to talk about it yet." You say before he can speak predicting what he was going to say.

"YOU'LL TELL ME EVENTUALLY THOUGH, RIGHT?" He says with a scowl.

"Of course, but there's a story that goes with it that I'm not ready to share right now." You knows he's worried still, but he nods anyway. "So...breakfast?"

"HUNGRY EGBERT?"

"Starving" You say as you get up out of bed.

You put on a shirt and pants (you wear only boxers to bed), and then make your way to the kitchen. You search through the fridge as Karkat walks in. He sits at the counter and watches as you get everything you need to make scrambled eggs. You debate pulling a prank on him, but opt against it.

You try to ignore his mesmerizing stare as you make breakfast for the two of you. You are soon done though, and are sliding a plate toward him and setting one in front of you. You both dig in quickly. You are silent for a few minutes as you eat. Then you sit back and just stare at each other.

"SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY?"

"I don't know? Wanna go see a movie?"

"SURE!"

You both go get ready, taking turns in the shower. You get some money and your phone and put them in your pocket. You walk out of your room and you and Karkat head downstairs and out. You walk to Prospit, the best movie theater in the city. You guys watch the movie Mockingjay Part 1, and then go get a late lunch/early dinner.

You guys finally head home only to cuddle on the couch. You spend an hour just cuddling on the couch. You start to drift off to sleep in Karkat's arms...

_*John's Dream*_

_Running. Running. That's the only thing on your mind as you dash down the streets and through alleys. You know you have to get away. He found you. You know it's futile, but you still run. You still try to get away. You try to cut through another alley, just to find yourself face to face with a wall. _

_You turn around only to find it's too late. He's in the alley blocking the only way out. It's too dark so you can't see his face, but you know it's him. You back up to the wall. You are screaming for help, for anyone. But no one can hear you, no one is there. _

"_Hello John. You miss me? Why have you been avoiding me?" He steps closer._

"_Come on John. I know you remember me." You scream and scream with nothing else to do. Suddenly you hear Karkat._

"_JOHN! JOHN, WAKE UP! WAKE UP JOHN" You are confused. He steps closer and you panic even more. _

"_JOHN! EGBERT, WAKE UP!" _

_He steps closer his face coming into the light. It's him. It's..._

You bolt awake. You narrowly miss head butting Karkat a second time. He looks at you in concern. You start sobbing with relief realizing it's only a dream. You shake your head to say to Karkat that you don't want to talk about it. He picks you up carries to your bed and lays down next to you, again. You snuggle close to him and fall back to the inky blackness of sleep.


	9. What's Your Past?

~Karkat Vantas

You are now Karkat Vantas. You are sitting in bed with John asleep on your chest. You are really worried about him. He has had two nightmares in two nights and he still refuses to tell you what they are about. You have a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with man who called John at the hotel that he, also, refused to tell you about.

You roll your head to the side to look at John's clock. It is 9:30 in the morning. You two really slept in. At least you don't have work today. You roll your head back to look down at John, curled up peacefully on your chest. You decide to let him sleep a little longer. He had a rough night.

You are just about to attempt another hour of sleep when John's phone rings. You would have tried to get it without waking up John, but it's too late as the first ring that woke you up also woke up John. His eyes shoot open and he instinctively jerks away from the noise. That causes John to fall off the end of the bed. You start to get the phone, curious because this is not his usual ringtone (but it is strangely familiar), but John shoots up from the ground and intercepts you.

"WAIT! Don't get it! I got it!" He says darting around to snatch up his phone. You expect him to answer, but he just turns his phone off. What?!

"JOHN, WHO WAS THAT?"

"It was no one. Don't worry about it Karkat." So he says, but he has a look on your face that tells you he is worried.

"NO! THAT'S ENOUGH! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE FUCKING SECRETS! I KNOW IT'S ALL FUCKING CONNECTED! YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING NIGHTMARES, PHONE CALLS, AND ALL THAT FUCKING SHIT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" You say finally fed up with all the shit.

He looks at you eyes wide as you pant trying to regain your breath after your rant. For a minute you're afraid he's going to bolt. Instead he heaves a sigh and motions for you to follow him as he walks out. You follow him out of the room and into the kitchen, where he makes some coffee hands you a cup and sits down. You sit down with him and look at him waiting.

"It's a long story so get comfortable." He says after a minute. Not taking your eyes off him you lean back in the chair, take a sip of your coffee, and motion for him to continue.

"I use to live in a small town. My parents were away a lot and usually left me in the care of my older sister Jane. I was the hot nerd in school. The one who always got picked on as well as hit on, and sometimes hit when I rejected people."

"I was used to being used, hit on, or hit and picked on. One day I was backed into a corner and having the shit beat out of me. When suddenly there were noises of pain and the guy hitting me got yanked off. I had, had my eyes shut, not wanting to see their fists and feet flying towards me, but I slowly opened them then."

"I saw a guy and he was beating the shit out of the guys picking on me. I recognized him as the new guy. He was hot and a senior, I was a junior then. After a few minutes the bullies decided the wanted to keep their bodies from being rearranged so they fled."

"He turned toward me and I shrunk back not knowing what to expect. He walked toward me and I shut my eyes expecting to be hit. Instead, I felt his arms go around me. He was comforting me. I looked up at him. After that we hung around a bit. He was the only person I've ever met who didn't use me or try to hook up with me because he wanted my body."

"Eventually I found out that he liked me, but I said yes because he liked me for who I was. We went out, hung out all the time, and were in, what I thought was, the perfect relationship. We were happy for over 8 months."

"Than he started to change. He became really possessive and shit. He didn't want me looking or talking to anybody. I told him he needed to stop and he hit me. After that he became steadily more abusive."

"Dave and I had been best friends in elementary school, but drifted apart in middle school. He was the only one I knew I could go to. One day after a particularly vicious beating I ran to his house."

"He lived close and I had gone there many times in elementary school. I ran up and rang on his doorbell. He opened the door and just stood there looking at me in shock. I was standing there bleeding and crying, with cuts and bruises everywhere."

"He invited me in and asked what had happened. I told him everything and just like that he was my best friend again. He had cleaned up my cuts while I told my story and afterward had just held me while I cried."

"I told him not to go to the police because _He _was clever and would surely find a way out. He agreed, but did everything in his power to protect me. It worked for a couple weeks, but then it just happened."

"I went home and he was there waiting for me. He said he was mad and that I had made a mistake. He said he was the only one who loved me, and that he would prove it. He beat me, strangled me, almost drowned me at one point. Then he started trying to rape me."

"He didn't get so far as to put his dick in me. Dave had been worried when I didn't answer his calls or texts so he came over, and saw what was happening in the window. He immediately called the police. They came and _He _went to jail. Dave stuck with me and slowly I got over the panic and terror. I still had nightmares, but Jane or Dave were always there to calm me down."

"A few months later I got a call. He had somehow talked his way out of jail. He had a restraining order to stay away from me, and a parole officer to keep him in check. He left me alone for years."

"He would sometimes call after a couple years, but never this much. I was never worried. Dave has never left me. We went to college together, were roommates. That's where I met Rose and Jade. They always took care of me. I love them."

"He has never come back, but now I fear he is. He told me one time he would come back for me. He is calling me a lot now. This has triggered the nightmares again. Most of them are flashbacks, some are of him coming back for me."

You sit there taking all this in. You are about to ask, but John beats you to it.

"His name is, Jake English."


	10. To Love And To Hate

**a/n: I feel so bad, I have been neglecting this story. I feel so bad. I will try to update more often. Thanks to my readers. Hope you enjoy! For now read and review. :p **

~John Egbert

You sit looking at Karkat, having just finished your harrowing tale of your past. You are afraid of how he is going to react. You sit there in silence after you had just told him the name of the monster. You continue sitting there looking at each other for another few minutes. You are trying to hold all your emotions in, willing yourself not to cry.

"I'M SO SORRY! I HAD NO IDEA!" He finally says.

"It's okay. You had no way of knowing." You are still not sure how he feels and are getting worried.

"IT'S A LOT TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND." You were afraid of this.

"It's okay, I understand. I wouldn't want to date me either after that. I'll understand if you want me to move out, too. I'm sure Dave would let me live with him, and-"

He cuts you off "WHAT?"

"I said-"

He cuts you off again "I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, DO NOT FUCKING REPEAT THAT SHIT. I LOVE YOU! YOUR PAST IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE THAT! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. UNDERSTAND?" You start tearing up.

"Karkat-" That's all you get out before your voice breaks and you start crying. Almost immediately Karkat's arms are around you. You bury your face in his chest and start bawling your eyes out. You continue like this for another five minutes. Finally you start to calm down. You pull away and look into his beautiful eyes.

"Th-thank you. For loving me even after you heard the truth."

"ALWAYS."

You and Karkat had a wonderful couple of days after that day in the kitchen. You hung out, went on dates, and kissed a couple times. All in all it was a great week and your fears seemed to just leave you.

You two are cuddling on the couch watching shitty TV, when there is a knock at the door. You climb out of Karkat's lap and make your way to the door. You open the door without looking through the peephole, which to be honest was something of a mistake.

You open the door see who it is and stumble back into the little table causing the vase to crash on the floor. Karkat comes running as you sit there staring at the sudden guest. Karkat is looking at you, trying to help you up and determined your injuries. You are still staring at the door. It's him. He came back for you.

He looks down at you, smirks and says "Hey, John. I missed you, baby."


	11. The First Encounter

~Karkat Vantas

You were trying to assess John's injuries when you heard what the man at the door said. You quickly put two and two together and realize that this is Jake English. You help John up, once you determine he only has a small cut, and push him behind you, facing Jake. You can feel him trembling behind you. You all stand there in silence before John speaks up.

"Wh-what a-are y-you doing h-here?" John stutters. You are trying to figure a way out of this.

"I told you I would come back for you. I love you, John." Jake says in a heavy british accent. You get angry when he says he loves John.

"YOU DON'T LOVE HIM. JOHN TOLD ME WHAT YOU DID TO HIM, AND YOU DON'T HURT PEOPLE YOU LOVE." You exclaim angrily. Jake looks at you weirdly.

"Who the hell are you?" He asks.

"JOHN'S BOYFRIEND AND BESTFRIEND." You say with a smirk. He looks furious.

"You are _not _his boyfriend. I am his boyfriend. _No one _loves him as much as me." He says angrily.

"Y-you are wr-wrong. Karkat l-loves m-me. H-he actually c-cares a-about m-me. H-he doesn't h-hurt m-me." John says. Jake's face fills with fury. Suddenly a new voice speaks up.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?!" You all look over to see a _very _pissed off Dave. You have never been happier to see Strider. Jake looks a little more scared than before. He still looks cocky though.

"I came to get my love." Jake says.

"You bastard. He is not your love, you are sick and twisted. Now get out of here before I accidently call the police and inform them of a broken restraining order." Dave threatens.

"Ooooooh I'm so scared." Jakes taunts.

"I'll also call Jane. We all know John's sister will be beyond pissed and will hunt you down and beat you to a pulp." Dave says. Jake's face pales considerably. He turns to you and John.

"I'll be back, baby." Jakes says and then darts out the door and disappears. Dave moves over to you and John.

"John, are you okay?" Dave says. You share a look and are both really worried. John has been trembling really badly. He starts sobbing.

You and Dave hold John between you as he collapses in the two of you's arms. You both hold him as he sobs and trembles. This has been a shit scary experience. Unfortunately you are sure it's not over, but you will do anything to protect John.


	12. Movie Marathon

~John Egbert

You are currently sobbing heavily in the arms of your best friend and your boyfriend. In your defense, you just went through a scary as shit experience. The man you thought you would never have to see or deal with again just showed up at your door. You are so glad Dave showed up when he did. Speaking of which, what was he doing here. You calm yourself down enough to talk.

"D-dave wh-what are you d-doing here?" You say stuttering and hiccuping your through the simple question. Karkat's arms tighten in response.

"It dawned on me that it had been a while since we hung out. So I decided to come over and see as you clear your entire schedule for my ironically cool self." Dave says and you almost smile, but you're still too shaken up "I'm glad I came though. I can't believe that jackass had the balls to show up here. I want to go kill him. Are you okay, John?"

"Y-yeah I was just holding in a lot through all of that and it just all came out once he left. I'm glad you came when you did though, too." You say calming down a lot more and standing up on your own, now. Karkat keeps his arm on your waist, he doesn't trust you not to break down gain you think.

"THAT WAS DISTURBING. AS MUCH AS IT KILLS ME TO SAY THOUGH, I'M GLAD YOU WERE THERE STRIDER." Karkat says and you are genuinely surprised.

"Aw, Karkles. I knew you liked me." And Dave had to ruin it.

"DON'T GET USED TO IT FUCKASS." Dave just smirks. You are trying to figure out what to do now. You don't want to go out, but you don't want to keep talking. Oh! You have an idea!

"Hey guys. Why don't we just watch movies for the rest of the day?" Dave and Karkat look at you, than at each other. It looks like they are silently communicating. Eventually they both agree and let you pick the movies.

You immediately grab your collection of Nic Cage movies. You pop in Con Air and sit on the couch between Karkat and Dave. You curl into Karkat's side and he wraps his arms around you. Holding you tight to his side.

The three of you watch movies well into the night and all fall asleep together on the couch. Between Karkat and Dave, you almost feel safe. Almost. But then you remember Jake's promise to come back for you and sink into an uncomfortable, tortured sleep.


	13. Ideas

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I am soooooooooo stuck. I have total writers block. I know where I want this story to go, but I dont know how to get there. Ideas. I need ideas. Pm, review, anything just get me ideas. If I dont get anything i will try to come up with something. Alright. So sorry again guys. Bai~**


	14. Why

~Karkat Vantas

You are Karkat Vantas and you are laughing really hard right now. It has been a few months since that douche canoe, Jake English, came to your door. Dave left the morning after that happened, but ever since he has made a point of, if not coming to your house, than calling to check up every day.

John has slowly been becoming less afraid and back to his old self. Of course, he still has nightmares at night, but now you two share a bed and you're always there to calm him down after a bad dream. You three have shared the story of that day with all your friends and they have all been very supportive and helpful. You are with a few of them right now.

Today you, John, Dave, Jade, Rose, Kanaya, and Sollux are hanging at Rose and Kanaya's apartment. Rose and Kanaya are dating and, honestly, they are kind of perfect for each other. You are all laughing at embarrassing children stories of Dave that Rose is telling. They are brother and sister, but their parents separated at age 8. Dave went with his "Bro" and Rose went with her Mom. You have been hanging out all day and now it's around 9 at night.

"HEY, JOHN! WE SHOULD HEAD HOME IT'S GETTING LATE!" You say. You are getting tired and have work in the morning.

"Yeah, you're right Karkat. Come on." John agrees.

You both get up and grab your stuff. Saying by to your friends you both head out the door. As you leave you notice John's expression change to one of a more sad demeanor. You are concerned.

"JOHN, WHAT'S WRONG?" You ask.

"Huh? What? Oh, um, nothing." He says. You are immediately suspicious.

"JOHN~" You warn.

"Fine. I was just thinking about Jake." He says and you scowl.

"HE IS NOT GOING TO GET NEAR YOU EVER AGAIN. I WON'T LET HIM, DAVE WON'T LET HIM, NONE OF OUR FRIENDS WILL LET HIM. YOU'RE SAFE." You assure him. It doesn't work as you hoped. He just looks away.

"I know Karkat. I'm just paranoid and sad that he didn't turn out how I thought he would." You want to say more, but it's clear he wants to drop the subject. You drop it for now.

You drive the both of you home. You can see him steadily getting sadder, but you don't comment on it. When you get up to your apartment John heads off to the bathroom saying he wants a shower. You sit on the couch and watch TV waiting until he is done. You realize he has been in there for a while, and John has never taken long showers. You decide to go check on him.

You open the door to the bathroom, and shriek and stumble back. There sitting on the toilet in John. He has a razor in one hand and his other arm is bleeding. Underneath the new cuts you can see scars and scabs showing that this is not the first time. You don't know what to say. Luckily your body goes on autopilot. You scoop up a crying John and clean him and the bathroom up. You wrap his arms and sit him on the couch across from you. For the past few minutes there has been only one thing going through your mind right now.

"WHY?"


	15. I'm Here For You?

~John Egbert

You are currently sitting across from Karkat and trying not to panic. He found out you've been cutting. How do you even begin to explain? He's looking at you expectantly and worried. You take a deep breath.

"I-I don't even know where to begin. It started a few weeks ago. I had been, i guess numb you could say. Not really feeling. It was because of Jake. I feel, I don't even know. I didn't really. I can't even pinpoint what it is."

"One day I was making dinner and I cut my knife on a hand. I felt something then. I wanted to feel again. So I cut and again. I was feeling and I didn't want to stop. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I just wanted to feel. I'm sorry. Sorry. So sorry." By the end I'm crying, sobbing really.

Karkat comes around and hugs me tightly. I sob into his chest, gripping his shirt tightly in my fists. He's whispering soothing nothings in my ear, and promising to help me get through this. I'm muttering nonsense, but I can't stop. Evetually I calm down and Karkat pulls away to look me in the eye.

"YOU SHOULD'VE COME TO ME, BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT NOW. MOW WE NEED TO FOCUS ON HELPING YOU, OKAY?"

"O-okay."

"ALRIGHT. I'LL BE HERE FOR YOU THE WHOLE TIME. DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL DAVE?"

"N-not yet. Just stay with me. Please?" Karkat hugs you tighter in response.

"OF COURSE."

Karkat takes you over to the couch and sits you down in his lap, still holding on tightly. He uses the remote to turn on the TV to a movie station. You eatch several movies. You lay down and are almost asleep when you feel Karkat shift.

"I'll always be here. I'll always protect you. I love you, John." He whispers and that is the last thing you remember before falling asleep.


End file.
